Finding Strength in Strangers

A Page from my healing journal..

I walk into my workplace after many weeks of being away on medical leave. The first face that I see is of this very energetic, vibrant colleague who has been working with me for the past many years. She meets me with a big hug and twinkling eyes.. n goes.. 

‘ I have to tell you something.’.and closes the door..’ I was waiting to share this with you. I knew you would bring some ‘healing vibes’ when you are back’ ..

I am all ears. 

‘I was just diagnosed with a possible cancer.. and will need an extensive surgery in a week.. ‘

I froze where I was. I did not believe what I had just heard. She is right about my age in her late thirties.

She will be going through the same life-altering surgery that I had just a few weeks ago. My brain is still processing this.

And my body will probably keep processing for I don’t know how much longer.. 

Only that her story comes with many more questions and the dreaded question of a possible cancer.. 

I have lived the last many months finding myself hung somewhere BTW hope and fear. I find myself there yet again. 

She goes on about all the good hopes about what’s next.. how she is looking for all the right answers, the good answers.. 

Up until few minutes ago, I was very proud of my strength that I had gathered coming back to work.

Now here I was, sitting in front of her, all mesmerized and in awe of her unwavering determination & positivism.. 

Somehow I see myself so small and also very comforted at the same time. As if I am wrapped In God s kind arms.. 

She and I probably don’t share much based on faith, culture, family traditions, and life choices. Yet, we are so connected in unseen threads of pain. 

I wanted to say so much to her in that moment. but I was at a loss of words.

Inside, my heart screamed : ‘’I can’t predict what the future holds for you. But I know this for sure. This belief and glimmer in your eyes looks very familiar. I have walked this path with closed eyes & shaky legs many times.. & though your body may feel weak and your heart may quiver.. you ll get through to the other side,.. a lot will change yes, but for the good.. hold on, hold on.. just hang. In. there..”

Another incident happened not too long before my surgery when I went for my routine dentist appointment. I had almost canceled it but then really dragged myself to get done with it.

I was greeted by a new hygienist. I didn’t want to do any small talk about random topics. I didn’t feel like having conversations with a stranger at this time.

She started going over my history and asked if there are any medical updates I have to add.. 

As a good honest patient, I shared the details with her.

She gave me a professional smile and carried on with her work on updating my chart. 

During the appointment, she opened up about her story.. & the facts that she has had the same medical diagnosis and surgery about 10 years ago.

‘And went on to say: ‘This may not sound relatable to you right now. But, this was the best decision I ever made.’

I did not believe what I just heard. Although by medical and research perspective this was nothing unusual.. I had already weighed all the pros and cons of my decision many times. Her words, still, meant so much more at that moment.

In our most vulnerable moments, a random stranger somehow says the words we need to hear. How does this happen? When your own near & dear ones are not capable of doing that.. 

Yet again, I felt I am wrapped in the gentle embrace of God. Like the warm hug of a distant friend. The friend who wants to be close to you but can’t. Instead, they just sent you a soothing message or, even better, show up in your dreams…!! Like the warmth of an afternoon sun which is not reachable but can enliven you.

This was one of the very low days that I was just trying to get through.

The way she transferred her knowns & experiences to my fears of the unknown & my doubts was .. instant, subtle and beautiful all at the same time, full of conviction.. 

Here is to these two angels I crossed paths with:

‘I did not tell you then. I don’t know If I ever will be able to say that. But Thank you!

Your kind presence has filled my heart with hope and gratitude”

We often look for strengths in the wrong places. We often seek them from the wrong people. Meanwhile, God’s angels are all around us.. holding us in His gentle embrace, in those silent little buck up glimmers we oversee .. we just need to watch and feel more deeply & mindfully. 

Strength is in that warm hug which happens where two strangers don’t even look each other in the eye. They wipe their tears very quietly. They do not say much but they just know. They absorb all the ‘healing vibes’.. of this rejuvenating potion of healing which two humans can share.. 

Who are these people randomly placed at a particular time in our lives? Why are they positioned in the perfect moment by the bigger higher power, the best planner? And why are we chosen for that particular encounter? 

Just when we need it.. even when we know there is no cure, yet we can still heal…!!